GAAAAAH! I'm Turning 60 !

 Ok, so NOW i'm freaked...

I am turning 60 tomorrow... 

and i'm not one little bit happy about that

and you know what i got for my 60th birthday???

a colonoscopy

isn't that just great...

...somehow birthdays just aren't what they used to be...

sorry, probably TMI - 

(everything was ok, except for the 7 polyps and diverticuli, and having a twisty colon)

When you get my age, and something hurts, you think cancer, heart attack, aneurism, brain tumor... 

I mean, when you have had anxiety issues and panic attacks since you were 18 years old, as i have, you've thought  multiple times you were dying... right then and there!

But when you turn 60 and you think you could be dying of something, 

it really could be happening!

  and then you get to be quadruply freaked out, if that's even possible...

 I was trying to take decent photos of myself with my iphone for the "holy crap i'm 60 blog post", and everytime i looked at the photo i took, i was like OMFG... do  i look that old!  

So i decided to make faces in the camera... like this one

and then immediately pulled out my "to do" list, and wrote -  call dermatologist re: price of botox

then i decided to be brave and take a photo without my makeup to show you... because you know, it's just real... 

but i'm not "real" enough to do a closeup, that's for sure...

you can see i have no eyebrows...

 glad it was dark, and the mirror was blurry...

if you're seeing a photo of me at this time of nite looking really happy, it's probably because i've been drinking

  which reminds me... have you seen the blogger Maskara.. she's adorable, and talks about the importance of having good brows... you should go check her out

i  need her!  everytime i try to make my eyebrows bigger i end up looking like Cruella Deville

Anyway, i always thought when i was this age, I would have a pink car... maybe something like this...

or this

(cream leather interior please)

AND... i would have a little beach cottage... 

this would be just fine...

it could be teeny weeny

I would have time to meditate, and do yoga, and paint...  and do fun crafty things... and drink wine at lunch with my friends

and now, here i sit, at a job i've worked at for 20 years typing a blog post to my friends and showing photos of myself getting old and telling personal stuff about my life

in reality...

I work 40 hours a week, and it's tricky making ends meet

I have to take valium to drive to the rented beach cottage that we can afford and that smells like old tennis shoes

I cook Thanksgiving meals for my kids, but it's not really a big feast, and they eat like their dad,, 

(kind of like Jethro from the Beverly Hillbillies)

and my son always starts looking for the vodka stash which of course i don't have

And i have a little black suv, that i'm making car payments on

little Cindy

Sooo, your whole life you think, when i get old, this is what it will be like

and then all of a sudden you're kinda old, and you realize that none of it has happened yet

and time is going really really fast....

and you think ... hey, wait a minute! 

i AM older NOW, and i don't see a pink car or a beach cottage!

so now what do I do?

anyway, i haven't given up on the pink car yet... 

although, i am getting a little concerned about the beach cottage...

.

...we'll just have to see

you never know, i'm a magical thinker

i might just conjure them both

happy halloween

... the end...

 

Stripes and Feathers...

So, since i repainted my bedroom blue, i had to paint over the pink stripes on my bedside dresser, because they really just didn't look that good anymore in the room

But that's ok,

 Because there are millions of places to put stripes!

 and for some freaky reason, i like stripes... 

i don't even know what that's about

i really like buffalo gingham checks too

everytime i see them i love them

So anyway.... I just grabbed my Annie Sloan paint and walked myself right into the living room and commenced to putting stripes on the first thing i could find that was standing still, 

and that happened to be a little vintage chest innocently minding it's own business by the front door...

 

stripes are such an fun and easy way to make an impact 

when i look at these pictures, the stripes look like a little much, but in the context of the whole living room they add a great touch

and did you see those flowers in the first photo

the really soft pink one?

well, it is the most beautiful flower in the world ever

it's a dahlia and it's called 'Cafe Au Lait'

my photo doesn't even begin to do it justice... you should google it, it's an amazing flower and the color is like nothing in the world, peaches and creams and pinks... 

of course i got obsessed with it and tried to find some tubers, but every single place in the whole wide world is out of them...

i'm serious

you know how it is when you get obsessed about something and can't take no for an answer, and you start looking in places like Australia for them... 

that was me

this isn't 'Cafe Au Lait', it's another dahlia, still amazing, but not as completely perfect as the Cafe Au Lait

at least to me

but the pink is nice with the gray stripes isn't it! 

 in fact, ... why don't i have any dahlias in my garden?!

what's up with that!

*********

I want to show you a new painting i did today too...

It was so fun to paint

i find feathers here and there every once in a while,  and i  decided it was time to paint a feather!

They really are so pretty

and i always sort of think of them as a special little message from the universe when i find one

it's funnest of all to find a cardinal or bluebird feather

but i like them all

 i had a beat up paint spattered little canvas... and since it was too late in the day to start a painting

i sketched a feather just for fun

i had forgotten how therapeutic it is to just sketch with pencils

and then this weekend, 

I painted it!

So here it is

It's a big painting 24 x 36

and very simple

this shows the scale of the painting

and how minimalist it is

sorry it's a bad photo taken at night

see the doggie bed all smushed up behind the easel - my little dog daisy always gets the hell outta the way when i'm painting because canvases have dropped on her head more than once...
she has no fondness for canvases !

 

It's very simple

But that's what i like about it

often 'the simple things' are the best things of all

you should have seen me, who is messy as anything, trying to keep the canvas clean and white while using all those dark colors

of course i'd use my rag to clean a messy spot, and it would drag through another spot on the painting with wet paint and smear someplace else on the canvas, 

and so on...

it would be kinda cool to do a series of three feathers wouldn't it!

but back to work tomorrow...

so that's for another day

I was taking a break from painting cows!

I sent Marian "Miss Mustard Seed" , her new cow painting last week... so she'll probably show that to you guys soon

and i have another cow i've painted that I'll show you too

...and that's all for now my sweet friends ...

...the end...

More Plywood Floors and Blue Bedroom Walls !

Sooooooooo... I decided to paint my bedroom blue...

OF COURSE ... it didn't go down easy

oh no no no

I obsessed over the color, bought an insane amount of samples

after Mr. Fractured had painted half the bedroom the chosen color,  I decided i hated the color

oh no!

I then asked him to paint it another color... which i was so sure would work since i'd loved it in other bedrooms

after he had painted half the bedroom the NEW color...

I decided i hated THAT color too

...uh oh...

At this point i decided i would call my friend for help

and told her it was 

A ROOM PAINTING COLOR EMERGENCY!!! 

So she came by and said the first color was just fine, and to paint two coats

and she was right!

Geeeesh!

Soooo then i decided i better be very very very nice and sweet to Mr. Fractured - which i was - and then when he was feeling very manly and magnanimous i asked him if he would repaint everything the first color again

Which he did... 

 he was really sweet about it all

i guess he already knows i'm insane and has embraced the horror... ...smile...

Phew!

and  I actually really love it!

Imagine that!

I resisted blue for years

some of my reasons were.....

everyone does blue bedrooms, ,... blue is boring, it'll look too blue... i'll get tired of blue... i really like blush pinks... i really like dark walls...all the blues looked too cold

Boy was i wrong!

It's so peaceful, and clean, and quieting...  

I am actually shocked at how much i like it

I'm  not all the way finished fluffing it up, i want some prettier decorative pillows

apparently pillows in soft blues are impossible to find even though i've seen them everywhere i've been for the last 10 years up until now when i want some ...

 

Here are a few pics of the color

 it is by Sherwin Williams

and it is called "Sea Salt"

and believe me it is a chameleon !

it changes so much with the light it's not even funny

here is a pic with the room almost empty

God it felt good to get all the "stuff" out of the space and have the emptiness

 
even in the different photos you can see what a chameleon this color is

plus, blue looks really pretty with baskets, and i love baskets

"Sea Salt" is  a combination blue/gray/green

very very soft

and seems to be gray enough to go with lots of other colors

i want to get an armload of dried gray/green hydrangeas kinda like these to add to a big basket in the room

wouldn't that be pretty?!

AND... guess what inspired me to paint the walls???

We pulled up our carpet and had plywood floors cut up on put down !

Tada!

white washed with good old Annie Sloan chalk paint !

Isn't that cool!

I hired someone to do it - and asked him to cut the planks 6 inches wide - 

so he drove up with a whole truckload of planks about 4 inches wide...

uhhhhhhh...  what was i gonna do, tell him to take them back... ?!

no freakin way

I had taken some days off work, they were ready to get to it, the planks were cut... the bedroom was cleared out

so i just let it go

this size would have to be fine!

They tore up the gucky old carpet

pulled up those nail strips and staples

 

glued and nailed down the floors

 

it took about a day and a half

the carpenter's total cost was around $375.00 for all supplies and materials

Soooo, if you want to do it yourself - that's about what it would cost!

I white washed them with a mix of Annie Sloan paint, some water... and rolled the paint on with a roller

I then sealed them with some acrylic polyeurathane called 

"Stay Clear"   

boy did the wood suck that stuff up!

It all dried really fast, the 'Annie Sloan' and the 'Stay Clear'

and then they were done!

I love them!  The whole room smells like fresh cut wood... and the floor feels so solid,  the colors are all soft, and i got rid of alot of clutter... 

 Mr. Fractured even cleaned off his desk, which, oh yeah... he let me paint  Annie Sloan "old white" with a little wash of "country gray" ..

 the room smells fresh and clean, and feels calming, 

..more meditative ..

even the light is different in here now

it feels pretty darn nice to have most of the work done and a peaceful uncluttered bedroom to come home to

 

...the end...

I Painted My Lampshades Pink!

I have been on the watch for some fun funky pink chandelier shades for a loooong time.  I have seen some for sale online, but they are usually very expensive sooooo....

I had some plain white shades ...

  and i decided to try a trick Amy of "Maison Decor" showed on her blog !

 She is a master of Annie Sloan paint styles and techniques...

 she even used the paint to dye some fabric!.

I grabbed my  little thrift shop white shades - mixed a blob of Annie Sloan Scandinavian Pink with some water, grabbed a paint brush, and just brushed it on the shades!

i wasn't even one bit careful about it at all !

 Scandinavian pink is this wonderful deep almost terra cotta pink color, but when you add white to it it comes up to these gorgeous colors,... deep peachy pinks, then soft lighter peachy pinks...then more blush pink colors depending on how much white you add...

I didn't add any white here... just water... 

I played around and added some faux flower petals...

and even tried some dried hydrangeas

( i was a little worried that they are so paper thin and dry that they might spontaneously combust - (kind of like i have almost done in several situations with my kids over the years- spontaneously combust that is) -

- so i removed them just to be safe)

it was a fun little project - and the paint worked great !

more like a dye than a paint...

there are some spots where the paint soaked through to the underlining and it's not perfectly flawless

but "not perfectly flawless" should be my middle name, because they're just fine for me

and a lot less expensive than some that i have seen online!

 so, if i get tired of them

it's no big deal to change them out for something else

because you know how we all never change things around the house... smile

(just ask the husband's or wives, or signifigant others... they know...)

of course i only had 4 of this shape and size shade and i needed five - so i added this one random pink lampshade i had, in with the mix, and i don't really even think anyone will notice so much... 

can you see it hiding in the back?

it has little fuzzy things on it, and i love it 

maybe you can see it better here....

that's partly why this blog is 'Cindy's Fractured Fairytale' - because nothing..... not one single thing is perfect here...

...the end...

I Promise I'll Never Ever...

Talk that much in a blog post again, like i did in the last one...

Who wants to read all that stuff!!  What was i thinking !

So just a few pics this time, and as little words as possible!

So i bought this cowhide rug at World Market,  for a pretty darn good price with a coupon.  A lot better than the prices i see online - and i LOVE it!  

My sofa is all messy in this photo... but whatever... i'm sooo totally completely not a photo stager...

I'm pretty sure i have switched pillows on this sofa a thousand times... that round pink one is already gone...

anyway avert your eyes from the messy coffee table and cords in the corner, and just check out the rug

I think i paid about $160.00 with the coupon, soooo... if you want one, you might want to check them out...

 This limelights hydrangea is blooming in it's full glory - 

So amazing, i want to kiss it...

It dries and fades to a soft blush

what could be better than that...

did any of you see this photo on Pinterest?

There is something about this photo that is like therapy to me... whenever i want to feel good i look at it

What is it about this combination that is so completely irresistible!?

I think it's the coral that makes it so perfect

....and...

I went to the beach since the last time i talked to you! 

For the first time in 6 years!  

and i love love love the beach... 

but due to money issues, and anxiety issues, and planning and sequencing issues... and basically every mental health issue you can come up with... it took me 6 years to get back to the beach which is only 3 hours away from my house... 

that shows you a little how crazy i am...

it was a duplex, and it smelled like old tennis shoes, and the decor was AWFUL, and it rained almost the whole 3 days we were there.... 

but we did have one almost sunny day where we had beach time

....and it was wonderful

And since it was rainy one of the days, We took a trip just up the road to the cutest little town called Southport, and there were a million thrift and antique shops, and old homes right on the water, where boats come in

so i was in heaven with that!

Why don't i live there? near the water? it seems so wrong not to be near the ocean!

I'm pretty sure i would be healthier and less neurotic if i did!

 ***

 I haven't told you, but i am working on a new cow painting for Miss Mustard Seed...

and oh how it is giving me trouble

it's kinda hard to beat "Eulalie"

sooo... major performance anxiety here

anyway, i've reached the maximum amount of words i will allow myself in this post after the last one

talk to you sweetie pies later!

...the end...