GAAAAAH! I'm Turning 60 !

 Ok, so NOW i'm freaked...

I am turning 60 tomorrow... 

and i'm not one little bit happy about that

and you know what i got for my 60th birthday???

a colonoscopy

isn't that just great...

...somehow birthdays just aren't what they used to be...

sorry, probably TMI - 

(everything was ok, except for the 7 polyps and diverticuli, and having a twisty colon)

When you get my age, and something hurts, you think cancer, heart attack, aneurism, brain tumor... 

I mean, when you have had anxiety issues and panic attacks since you were 18 years old, as i have, you've thought  multiple times you were dying... right then and there!

But when you turn 60 and you think you could be dying of something, 

it really could be happening!

  and then you get to be quadruply freaked out, if that's even possible...

 I was trying to take decent photos of myself with my iphone for the "holy crap i'm 60 blog post", and everytime i looked at the photo i took, i was like OMFG... do  i look that old!  

So i decided to make faces in the camera... like this one

and then immediately pulled out my "to do" list, and wrote -  call dermatologist re: price of botox

then i decided to be brave and take a photo without my makeup to show you... because you know, it's just real... 

but i'm not "real" enough to do a closeup, that's for sure...

you can see i have no eyebrows...

 glad it was dark, and the mirror was blurry...

if you're seeing a photo of me at this time of nite looking really happy, it's probably because i've been drinking

  which reminds me... have you seen the blogger Maskara.. she's adorable, and talks about the importance of having good brows... you should go check her out

i  need her!  everytime i try to make my eyebrows bigger i end up looking like Cruella Deville

Anyway, i always thought when i was this age, I would have a pink car... maybe something like this...

or this

(cream leather interior please)

AND... i would have a little beach cottage... 

this would be just fine...

it could be teeny weeny

I would have time to meditate, and do yoga, and paint...  and do fun crafty things... and drink wine at lunch with my friends

and now, here i sit, at a job i've worked at for 20 years typing a blog post to my friends and showing photos of myself getting old and telling personal stuff about my life

in reality...

I work 40 hours a week, and it's tricky making ends meet

I have to take valium to drive to the rented beach cottage that we can afford and that smells like old tennis shoes

I cook Thanksgiving meals for my kids, but it's not really a big feast, and they eat like their dad,, 

(kind of like Jethro from the Beverly Hillbillies)

and my son always starts looking for the vodka stash which of course i don't have

And i have a little black suv, that i'm making car payments on

little Cindy

Sooo, your whole life you think, when i get old, this is what it will be like

and then all of a sudden you're kinda old, and you realize that none of it has happened yet

and time is going really really fast....

and you think ... hey, wait a minute! 

i AM older NOW, and i don't see a pink car or a beach cottage!

so now what do I do?

anyway, i haven't given up on the pink car yet... 

although, i am getting a little concerned about the beach cottage...

.

...we'll just have to see

you never know, i'm a magical thinker

i might just conjure them both

happy halloween

... the end...